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Archive for the ‘Things I don't "get"’ Category

I’m not sure when or why it began. From the start, my aversion to all things sports seems to be a defining part of my personality. My parents, doing their parental due diligence, put me in soccer when I was knee high to something. As expected, I was that kid playing on the side line, distracted by flowers and such. I’m pretty sure I lack the inherent competitive streak required of all true athletes.

To give a complete picture of my athletic prowess, I’ll tell the story where I asked the question “Are the Celtics in the World Cup?” ending in thunderous laughter. Oh. Wait. I pretty much blew the punch line. Regardless, you get the idea. I’m not exactly the “sporty” type.

As a result, it’s funny to hear family and friends interject their speculations of who our little Reed (33 weeks tomorrow) will be. Will he be athletic? Will he be creative? Intelligent or average? Sweet or naughty? Just as we possess little understanding of God’s character or why Sonic ice cream doesn’t melt it’s difficult to forecast who your child will be. He could have any, all or none of the aforementioned characteristics. Maybe he’ll be an off-the-wall nut forging his own path. There’s no way to be certain and this brings me pleasure. As a future parent I’m excited to nurture his strengths, shepherd his weaknesses and take oh-so-much joy in discovering who God created our little one to be.  

But, if he is athletic by some random act of God, I’ll know he doesn’t get that from his mother. Of that, I’m certain.

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Have you ever known someone who’s truly crafty? You know, the kind of person who makes things. Maybe it’s jewelry or socks or curtains or hair bows. Whatever it is, this individual probably leaves you feeling inspired and a bit lazy. Because, if you don’t make things, you wonder how in the world someone has the time to do it.  This is the exactly how I feel about my sister-in-law, Kristi. Kristi makes things. She knits, crochets, sews and probably makes her own soap (or aspires to). And, as long as she sticks to store bought deodorant, I’m thinking her hobbies are pretty cool. Her latest creation includes a store on etsy.com.

Etsy is a place where crafty people converge. A watering hole (if you will) for the folksy, artsy, hippies, design-freaks and shopaholics. On etsy.com you’ll find some of the coolest (and most odd) items including an entire section of purely handmade stuff. Now, simply because it’s homemade, does not mean it’s in good taste. Some of this stuff is straight-up strange but most of it totally tickles my fancy. Kristi’s stuff is in the latter category.

Check out Kristi’s etsy site: http://www.etsy.com/shop/sugarandcaffeine

Kristi makes baby hats which can be made for bigger adult heads too. At some point, she plans to expand her store. So, if you like what she does, check back periodically to see the latest. Or, feel free to contact her. She likes yarn and people too.  

Kristi's baby hat (not her baby)

Kristi baby hat 2

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GoGirl

It’s arguably the most disgusting and simultaneously hilarious item I’ve seen in a while. I present to you, the “GoGirl“. This product offers women the freedom to “stand up to crowded, disgusting bathrooms”.

Permitting us to literally take it like a man, this urination device allows women to stand, not sit (if you catch my drift). When might you use such a product you ask? Oh, perhaps when you’ve gone channel surfing and there’s not a Buc-ees within hang ten range. Just whip out this funnel-like construction and you’re good to go. Or stand rather.

According to the Web site, there’s plenty of GoGirls willing to loan their testimony to peddle the product. So, I clicked to see them for myself. And, what do I find? Not real women. Not real testimonies. Instead, I find caricatures of real women such as the “OutdoorsyGirl” or “MommyGirl”. What is a “MommyGirl” exactly?

Still determined to find a real woman endorsing such a male enhancement, I turned to the site’s blog where I met Melody, the “channel surfer”. In my experience, channel surfing is the act of grabbing the remote away from your husband long enough to flip through PBS, History Channel and TNT. At this point, I use my cunning deductive reasoning to determine that Melody is fictitious and the alleged “channel surfing” she participates in was created by the men who dreamt up this product.

The GoGirl costs only $6.99 and is reusable. In other words, if you’d like to, you can wipe it off, stick it in a baggie and whip it out again when you get the urge. What a deal.

Watch the demo here. (Click “Play Demo” under the picture.) You won’t want to miss it.

Back2U: Have you seen any equally strange or amusing products targeted at men? Please say yes.

Meet, the GoGirl.

Meet, the GoGirl.

 

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I’m not sure whether it’s my naivete or ignorance but, let’s face it, in this world there are a lot of things I simply don’t “get”. And, in an ongoing series, I’ll identify various examples.

First, a Texas cultural norm mystifying me for years: Young girls visiting the mall during their quinceanera. The mere sight of a young girl in a giant, frilly wedding-style dress in a place where most patrons wear t-shirts with slogans like “I’m with stupid” is awkward enough. The additional oddity of the girl walking up and down the halls of the mall, seeming to window shop invites stares. Staring is rude. But, the mind boggling behavior coupled with the girl’s attitude of normalcy invites staring (and laughing too).

Pictured here, the young girl casually glances in windows, while carefully tracked by an entourage of bridesmaid looking friends, dressed for a prom-like event. Entering Forever 21, I watch them with my mouth hanging open in disbelief. Secretly, I hope the girl has plans to try on clothes. Getting that cupcake of a dress off could provide the shopping adventure of their teenage lives.

What's next girls, Chilis?

What's next girls, Chili's?

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